Simon Peggataur

Oh, Simon, you are so dreamy! Sometimes, it's not enough for me to simply idolize your adorable smile and disarming candor from afar. Sometimes I think, as funny and charming and brilliant as you are, that you might be even more dreamy if you had a pegasus for an "arse," as you would say. Simon, don't take this the wrong way, but I would pegusarse you all day. I have found many pictures of you on the internet, and many pictures of horses and of things with wings. This leads me to my next point. Simon, I would like to ride you after you have been pegusarsed. I think it is only fair, after I have given you such an amazing gift, for you to return the favor and carry me through the starry wonderland that is the dreamsky I see every time I imagine the place where I will ride you. Some day, my Simon, our dreams will be as one!