Skeletal Dragon

Happy Halloween! In honor of Halloween we have a bonier-than-average post. This guy is a skeleton of a dragon, but dragons just don't quit, not even when they're just bones left. The best thing about skeletal mounts is that there are lots of places to hold on. The other best thing about skeletal mounts is that it's easy to install cup holders. The worst thing about skeletal mounts is that they are creepy, which could be a best thing, if you're into that sort of thing, but, combined with the smell (depending on the method of (re-)animation), is probably a turn off for most people.

Big Red Dragon

This guy is doing it RIGHT. If you're going to ride a wyrm the length of a subway train covered snout to tailblade in scales and terror, you have to dress for the occasion. Dragons, especially really darn big red ones, have excruciatingly high standards and you do not want to be found wanting. One does not simply sit astride a towering coil of malevolence without the requisite forged-by-dwarves-before-the-dawn-of-time-from-the-bones-of-ancient-gods plate mail. You try climbing on the back of this beauty in jeans and some elven mail and she'll totes be all, "Ugh, as if." You've been warned.

Bintu-right

RRRRRAAAARRR! What's better than a flying bear? A flying bearcat! and they smell like hot-buttered popcorn! It's true. I put two heads on this binturong because that growly face just will not be denied. Also I used peregrine falcon wings for obvious reasons. I like to imagine me bear-hugging the back of this guy as he leaps off a huge tree at the top of a waterfall and we dive and spiral and then I fall off, but he catches me at the last second and then we do a loop-de-loop that ends with us diving into the pool at the bottom of the waterfall, and when our bubbles come to the top of the pool and pop, you can hear our laughing and smell popcorn. You might like to imagine it too!

Storm cloud

This one is so obvious, I cant believe I didn't start with it, except I have no idea how you'd get on top, or stay there, or if it would move faster than just like floating or whatever, but assuming that you could have a saddle or throne or something and it could go hella fast and shoot lightning at people and when you yelled "check me out, ladies, up here on the friggin storm cloud!" the ladies could hear you and see how much you pwn the skies, well, then riding a storm cloud is just alright by me.

Angels

When my friend saw this site, she said she'd either want to ride a unicorn propelled by rainbows that come out of it's bum, or Pygar. I was unfamiliar with Pygar. Turns out he's an angel. I said, "Maybe he can carry you in his arms, but that's not technically a "mount."" She assured me that she did technically want to "mount" him.

I said, "You mean like a piggy back ride?"

She said, "No..."

Then, I said, "Like those things that hold babies like a back pack but on the front? like a baby frontpack?"

And she said, "Not really, no."

So then I asked if she meant like a chicken fight, and noted that this was unsteady on the ground, let alone while flying. She seemed kind of frustrated, and I agree. It would be hard for me to mount this guy.

My friend still insists she sure would like to give it a try.

Flying Octopus (RIP Paul)

Something very sad happened today. Paul died. I didn't know Paul personally but I felt like I did.
That got me to thinking: "I hope Paul can watch soccer in Heaven." But maybe Paul is Muslim, (he is German) and do Muslims even call it soccer? I did not know, but then I imagined an angel Octopus coming to meet Paul with a cherubic infant riding on the flying octopus, because I imagine Paul liked (likes) babies.
When I used google to find a picture of a flying octopus with a cherub on top, I found this fantastic painting by Daniela Uhlig. I had to add my own infant, but you can barely tell.

Buffakeets

If Mr. Birdyarms was big enough to ride on, I'm not sure if I would try it, but they are not my loins that long to sit astride this mount. This is our first reader-submitted MILFO. I am not so genius of the buffakeet. Someone else is that genius.

I am the genius that imagines Mr. Birdyarms descending on an army of cat-people with two flaming swords each as long as one of their cat-horses as an archer perched on his back rains down catnip-laced flaming arrows that shroud the battle field in a savory, torpor-inducing fog. Our reader, knuckles tight around the reigns, belows from on high: "If only your mounts could fly, you mewling brats, I might respect your drowsy cries for mercy!"

I am not genius enough to know how Mr. Birdyarms can fly with arms instead of wings, but I am not man enough to argue with Randy Macho Birdman Savage.

(Special Macho Birdman love to Sean and Rob)

BATSHARK!!!

From the seas to the skies, the batshark takes flight. How does your pulse not quicken as the wingspan arches to the horizon? Your self-confidence when approaching both mermaids and just like girls on the boardwalk would surely skyrocket on the back of a batshark. Batsharks aren't real, but they are in stories I write about riding batsharks.

Griffins!

Who doesn't love griffins? I know I do. This is a pretty sweet griffin I found on google. I would like to fly on him (or her, you can't tell from this picture). Just look at those amazing haunches. Someone on google is very good at drawing griffins. GOOD JOB GOOGLE PEOPLE! Griffins are different from hippogrifs. In order to illustrate the difference I have created the image below so that you may compare.

hahahaha.

Welcome to MILFO Blog

What is MILFO? you probeably asked yourself ora friend,well. MILFO is a Mount I'd (or you'd) Like to Fly On. LIke a giant eagle, or maybe a shark with bat wings cauze it's badassed (excusez ma francais, s'il vous plait). WELL. Here we post pictures of mounts we'd like to fly on, and then we put the letters "MILFO" on the image so that it is apparent why we have posted these pictures. If you have pics of your dream aerial mount, please send them to us. We'll post them here. If you can

t add the text "MILFO" to the image yourself, don't worry. Wecan do it ofr you!